CS Jokes 102

Here’s the second iteration of CS Jokes 101:

>>Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

>>Q: When is a function a bad investment?
>>A: “When there’s no return”.

>>Q: When do two functions fight?
>>A: “When they have arguments”.

>>Q: What did the flirtatious function say?
>>A: “Call me ;)”.

>>A person had a problem so he decided to use Java. Now he has a ProblemFactory.

>>Power went off while Jesus and Lucifer were learning programming. When the power was back, Lucifer’s program was missing. He complained to God for his bias towards his favorite son. Then god said:

“Jesus Saves!”

>>For the Fortran guys :
“GOD is real unless you declared it as integer”.

>>A: Did you hear the joke about the programmer who used a bloom filter?
>>B: I’m not sure.

>>An engineer and an MBA went camping and shared a tent.
In the middle of the night, the engineer woke up the MBA and said
“You see those stars? What do you make of it?”

MBA: “I know everything about stars …. blah blah
I know everything about the universe …. blah blah
I know everything about galaxies ….. blah blah
I know everything about the big bang ….. blah blah
(condescendingly) Well, what do *you* make of it?”

Engineer: “Someone stole our tent”.

>>How did the chicken cross the road?

Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ……

C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn’t have to cross the road, you’ d simply refer to him on the other side.

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don’t dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ‘ backed up’ before crossing.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.

Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there’s no way to tell it how to cross the road.

OOP Chicken: It doesn’t need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

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